Alok adds: My god. This mail deserves an award. We Indian (those with money+ego and which r easy to find) feel anything available to us is for over use / misuse / wasting/ showing off be it food, fuel,electricity,water or any other resources ( they unneccessarily burden a peon / junior because he is paid and is available).In one marriage preparation meeting when the father of girl said I have arranged for 3 sweets and a Icecream then another friend Harish commented friend only 3 sweets ??? And I said 3 are more then enough. But those present liked suggestion of Harish and appreciated him as a very modern, matured and guest friendly and I was brushed aside. Similar suggestions for everything jacked up expenses of this friend from 25 lacs to 40 lacs and finally he sold one of the plot at Nasik to pay for marriahge expenses.
With my limited need ( my office and home is in same building) and budget I have been having only low end Maruti van for last 23 years( though changed every few year).
Most friends will suggest Alok, why not go for this make or that. I would promptly reply my budget is Rs. 2 .5 lacs. If rest u can foot then I dont mind changing. But most of the others buy,borrow steal to just keep their false pride.
One of my just married cousines in laws had a bitter fight and demand for more dowery only because back at home they wanted to have reception.How and why u can sqeeuz arms of bride side to throw a dinner?? I dont know what kind of people those are.
In my case we hosted a good engagement party from our side. So in marriage we did not arrange any dinner as groom side. There were some who commented that what kind of people we are that we did not throw a dinner. And situation was that forget but asking we refused the insisting offer of bride side for 2-3 functions and clerly told them that we will come only once in a barat and that's it.Not going in to much details of things but my father paid back for a cooking range which my inlaws gave in marriage which they had to accept as he declared he will not eat food cooked on dowry gift. He did not accept any thing for himself and did not allow dowry item to be kept in his room ( even a photo frame).
Yes it was difficult for him to accpt anything from a in laws of son when this man had lived all his life with pride of not accpeting any thing from his father since school days (since 9th standard he gave tution and studied : B.com, LLB, ICWA,CAIIB, DBM, CS,Sanskrit Visharad, etc was lecturer in VJTI the then most renowned engineering college, was paper setter and examiner for exams of all india cost and works accountants). But in 2001 a road accident affected his memory and nature badly.
And went to the extent of refusing to accpt anything from his own father that every thing of my grandfather which should have gone to him fell in to my lap like a ripe mango ( share in grand pa's property). Daddy blatantly refused to see his name being included in his father's will or anywhere.He does not accept anything from us to even at the age of 88 years. Does not want to bother my staff and wants to do all his work by himeself ( except for last few months as he is not well).In last 30 years I have never gone to make payment for any bills, to do train reservations etc etc but he does not want to trouble my staff easily available to him and even his own staff.
But sorry situation is others as I see want to waste power, fuel, food, take help of labourer even if not needed as they think they can afford and there are many who cant afford do every mean thing to show then can afford ( like dowery, fraud,over charging,bribe,gifts,manipulations,borrowing,sell spurious, adultarated etc etc..).
Hope we Indians too learn to use / spend only as much as we can with honest means and waste not want not , order not if we cant consume.
But high order is n't it?? As we all want to live in false pride and show off.
On Sun, Mar 20, 2011 at 9:15 AM, Deepak Barodia <email@example.com> wrote: