Gain weight, get divorced, destroy guests, make own children your enemy this Diwali......bitter Alok

Weighty, kuch mitha, kuch Tikha suggestions for this Diwali:


A. Avoid workout, walk, dance, outdoor sports, physical intimacy, hiking, garba dandya, musical chair etc

1. Enjoy indoor games, housie, cards, TV, etc.. and get heart problems complementary.

2. Forget diet plan this Diwali. Indians are regularly exposed to heavy snack meals and oily, fat rich foods; and Diwali is the time to over do all that.

3. Following the accurate diet plan becomes mandatory in order to maintain a healthy body. But Diwali time we can just forget that and enjoy starters, cocktail snacks, late night eating,

4. We can take a vow that we will increase intake of fruits, salads and will avoid junk food items, excess salts in food, cheese, etc. but from next Diwali.

5. If you want to poison someone then Gift sweets which are mostly adulterated and chocolates which are Chinese and made to affect health.

6. If you love some one then gift fresh vegetables, fruits, nuts, fresh baked products, diet food, home made Ladoos, books and CD's on yoga, exercise, spiritualism but then you will be looked down by all. Are you prepared???

7. If you love your guests then offer them nimbu pani (lime water), fruit plate, dry fruits but then they will say you are LS (low society).

8. If you hate some one then give all deep fried snacks, tea after tea, let them over eat and you will win them.



B. If anyone of you want to join in for self destruction as I am doing then :

1. spend most time on net, newspaper, discussions, arguments or spend time on beaches , laughing clubs, hut tu tu choice is yours

2. have family and friends who will ask you to lead lavish life though they know you have limited resources and that you do not adopt short cuts to make money.

3. Have free advisors like I get every day who will comment: It is time you buy bigger car, renovate your house, throw lavish party, have bigger staff, etc. Pl. take all this to heart to get a stroke / heart attack, paralysis, depression. And remember that these advisors are one who has never helped you in business.



C. Diwali is perfect time to create divide in families:



When you take your family for wishing Diwali or obtaining blessings:

VISIT HS (High Society):

1. Your family members will start comparing own house with theirs who are either blessed by Goddess Laxmi ( Good karmas of earlier life) or are scamsters and on way to Kalmadi/ Raja / King fisher etc

2. The hostess will say are baba see I have three maids, two cooks, I get everything from.... ( costliest food shop ) , I just dial and order everything, and I just made this navlakha har ( diamond set) and so on : and finally since you are small fry they will dish you some old stocks of rotten snacks, dry fruits, or Ice cream. Easy to serve and looking desperately to finish. Who cares if those maids have skin disease, TB, live in most infectious slum in the world? And the food they order from costliest place is having their kitchen in most unhygienic condition with open lavatory attached, adulterated oil, food dipped in same oil where they cook and fry non veg and veg together, workers are dipped in perspiration and their hard earned swats are falling in food, and still worst scenario but can't go on......And of course when you go to rich and mighty you will not get a glimpse of a other family members there and only see servants, watchman, and drivers.

VISIT LS (LOW SOCIETY):

1. And there are those who will be living humbly, welcome you with love, cook by own hands in a hygienic way fresh Diwali traditional varieties, the bahu (daughter in law will come smilingly and wish you, and serve all these items), children will join you with grace and respect, seniors in house will give divine blessings and good teachings but......but...... but who has time to visit such houses??????? !!!!!!!!!! Chi un ke yahan kya jana hei???



Want to write more but can't afford too many enemies at one go......so stopping here.......



Utterly bitterly yours......Alok Tholiya